fighting for purity and freedom

Dad Provides ‘Safe’ Porn Sites For 13-Year-Old Son

Hufington Post had this post on its parents blog about the now-viral incident of the father who found porn on his 13-year-old son’s computer and gave advice that he should stick to “safe” porn sites so viruses wouldn’t crash his computer.

HuffPost published the letter, minus the actual web addresses of porn sites which the dad offered to his son.  Apparently, before giving the letter to his son, the dad made it available on the web using Reddit. He was soliciting input from the web community before giving it to his son.

Here’s what HuffPost published:

I want to start out by saying that I love ya and I’m not trying to embarrass you. Before you do anything else click the star in the upper right hand corner of internet explorer which is already pulled up and then click back on the icon to the right of the skype symbol in your toolbar to pull this page back up. —————————————> That history is the reason that you got that scamware and all the other crap on your computer. I want to tell you that it’s ok. Listen, I was 13 once too and it wasn’t so long ago that I don’t remember. I’m not mad or anything. It’s life and I did it too. I just want you to know that most of those sites are places that can and will ruin your computer. You were actually lucky that it only did what it did. There are viruses and other scamware that can completly ruin a computer and I can’t afford to buy you another 1800 dollar machine because you went to a site that fried it.

There are sites that are completely safe and you can go on them and not have your computer turned into a piece of junk. You can go to these sites and not screw up your computer. Don’t click on any links taking you to other sites and please only go to these. Ninty percent of porn sites have crap that can brick a computer …

Listen, I won’t tell your mom and I’m not gonna make a big deal out of this. In fact I’m not gonna make any size deal out of it. If you don’t wanna talk about it that’s fine and I completely understand. I’ve been on this earth three times as long as you and there’s nothing you have done or will do that I haven’t done before. If you want to completely ignore this ever happened then I can and will do that too. Please don’t act awkward around me because of this. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. I just can’t have an 1800 dollar machine turned into a brick because you haven’t learned where to go on the internet. I’m not going to put a child lock on your computer or punish you in any way because as I said you did nothing wrong. I would like you to not be back here so much though. You literally spend all of your time back here. I’d like to see you more often. I like doing stuff with you and miss it.

I love you nd [sic]I couldn’t be more proud of you.

The father got some “props” on Reddit for being a “progressive dad.”

Here’s the thing:  he gets it about half right, i’d say.  He rightly tells his son that he loves him; that he’s not going to freak out; and he understands because he was 13 once also.

But why is the father more concerned about the computer getting a virus than the fact that viewing porn — especially when  a teen — chemically alters the brain in powerful ways that have seriously damaging consequences? The father tells his son that “those sites” will ruin his computer, but fails to mention that they will ruin his son’s heart and soul also.

And the thought that a dad would suggest actual porn sites to his 13-year-old son is tragic. Some have noted that it might also be illegal.

But, this is the advice so many dads would give, actually. i know plenty of guys who say that when they were caught looking at porn, their fathers didn’t help them understand the pain associated with it and reasons why it’s not good for them. Rather, they — like the dad in this story — made sure not to tell Mom and then let the behavior go on.

The difference here is that this dad put his advice on the world wide web.  One reason for this is that fathers today are consumers of porn also, so they aren’t going to lead their sons toward anything better.

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