fighting for free hearts

Living Vicariously Through Tiger Woods

A search of blogs using the search terms “living vicariously through Tiger Woods” brought up too many hits to link to.

The comments were mostly along the lines of: “We live vicariously through the rich and famous so when they commit scandalous behavior, it shakes us.” It’s an interesting take on the endless parade of stories and mistresses.

But the comment i heard that really was most insightful on the whole thing came from guy i know who admitted that he was living vicariously in a different way. He was imagining himself having all those affairs. This guy was honest enough to admit that while outrage was being served up on every news outlet in existence, he was actually wishing he were in Tiger’s shoes _ for the mistress part, that is.

i daresay most men would not be as honest as my friend, even though they would all feel a pull in that direction. Many men, prior to Tiger’s indiscretions coming into the open, think about doing the very things Woods has done. They are men in marriages which aren’t particularly fulfilling; or they are men who are still seduced by the lie of pornography; or they are simply bored. In conversation many men will say the right words of outrage while all the time in their hearts they think about Woods: “Lucky Dog.” It adds to the whole drama that one of the women was a porn actress. So many men fantasize about being able to have an affair with a porn star.

And societally, we actually sell that as something that’s fine for men to want. Now Woods has acted on it. The shock and horror i am coming across in the news seems a bit disingenuous. i must say.

The question keeps being asked: “Who will be faithful? Who will have integrity?” Who has an answer?

And the double-standard is curious as well. We want our porn _ Victoria’s Secret on television and Droid phone apps and so on _ but when someone actually lives out those fantasies (ala Tiger) he’s a pariah.

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