fighting for free hearts

The Story: Feeling Like An Orphan

The thoughts expressed in this post on fatherlessness are much more common among men than most people realize.

The Story has many plot developments. Central to the Story for men is the need, and often the absence of, a father. Not in a physical sense, usually. Rather, in the true relational sense; the emotional and spiritual sense.

All men carry wounds of one kind or another, and when it comes to our relationships with our fathers, we can feel like orphans. Even the best earthly fathers are flawed, they cannot give us everything we want emotionally. The result can be a confusion for us as to what it means to be a man; a fear that as we enter adulthood we don’t have what it takes when it counts — to quote John Eldredge.

There are strong ties between fatherlessness and addictions of any variety; porn addiction especially.

One of the unique aspects of porn indulgence is how the medium itself is a counterfeit for authentic masculinity. And the more we consume, the more our ideas of masculinity are warped. Our feelings of fatherlessness fuel the indulgence because one of the things we are looking for in our viewing of pornography is the affirmation that we are indeed men. If our relationships with our fathers has left us lacking confidence, we are much more prone to seek our answers in pornography.

This is the healing we need from our Heavenly Father. When we allow Him to speak to the wounds of our fatherlessness, we can be made whole and no longer be orphans.

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