fighting for free hearts

More On The Journey

Recently i have been asked numerous questions about my journey out of pornography addiction by people who are either struggling themselves or are just interested to know the story. The answers to most questions on this subject are long and involved.

But as to the Confession itself, here is some background:

i was brought to the place of my addiction being out in the open in spite of all of my best attempts to keep it hidden. There was no way i would have confessed this on my own. i was too much of a coward and a deceiver. The crucial moment came when my wife told me a story and then posed question which was completely unexpected. She relayed to me a story of a husband and wife we both knew from college. My wife tells the story of this in the audio called “A Marriage Transformed” available on the blog in the section “Essays and More.”

The question which caught me off guard was as simple and direct as it was profound and unexpected. She wanted to know if i had looked at porn since the day we were married. i initially deflected, making a reference to a time when i _ overcome with guilt _ had confessed to looking at a porn magazine. But my wife would not be dismissed so easily. She pressed on and i was exposed. Even if i had said nothing, my facial expression and body language betrayed me.

Although i had prided myself on my ability to hide it so well over the years, that facade unravelled. i see that simple question posed by my wife as a blessing in disguise. it started me on a path toward freedom. Painful though it was, the journey was required if i were ever to know real life and freedom.

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