More On Accountability

The thing about accountability is that real accountability is hard.

You have to be committed to regularly asking challenging questions when those questions aren’t really welcomed. And you have to be committed to genuine encouragement at the same time.

Most men struggle to ask, on a consistent basis, the probing questions that their brothers need to be asked. It’s uncomfortable when the guy you are asking would rather not talk about his problems. And some guys get angry or even belligerent if you don’t take the hint and stop probing.

There’s something else. Most men don’t want to ask challenging questions because they don’t want to face the same questions coming back at them. Many men in accountability groups are paralyzed by the fact that they are not doing well themselves with regard to pornography, lust and masturbation.

Then there’s the problem of the rigid accountability partner. He’s the guy who throws the book at you every time you even entertain a lustful thought, nevermind act on it by masturbating or looking at porn. The lack of grace will drive others underground.

Real accountability is brutally honest disclosure shared in an environment of confidentiality and grace, without minimizing the call to put to death the things of the fleshly nature. It’s one of the toughest relationships there is. But for men, it is one of the most crucial relationships.

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