John Eldredge writes:
Denial is a favorite method of coping for many Christians. But not with Jesus. He wants truth in the inmost being, and to get it there he’s got to take us into our inmost being. One way he’ll do this is by bringing up an old memory. You’ll be driving down the road and suddenly remember something from your childhood. Or maybe you’ll have a dream about a long-forgotten person, event, or place. However he brings it up, go with him there. He has something to say to you.
The lessons that have been laid down in pain can be accessed only in pain. Christ must open the wound, not just bandage it over. Sometimes he’ll take us there by having an event repeat itself years later, only with new characters in the current situation. We find ourselves overlooked for a job, just as we were overlooked by our parents. Or we experience fear again, just as we felt those lonely nights in our room upstairs. These are all invitations to go with him into the deep waters of the heart, uncover the lies buried down there, and bring in the truth that will set us free. Don’t just bury it quickly; ask God what he is wanting to speak to. (~”Waking The Dead”)
Every addict must be forced out of denial. A commitment to living in truth compels us to stop lying to others and ourselves. God will meet us, often in precisely the way described here by Eldredge. It has happened to me many times.
The deep healing of our hearts requires honesty, further deception always results in death.