There comes a crucial point in every man’s journey at which he realizes the need for initiation.  But not just any initiation. Rather, it must be the initiation which is from God. We are made in His image, and He knows what it means to truly be a man.

All of the twisted versions of masculinity we see in our world are the result of men trying to come up with an answer to the question: “What is a man?” on their own.

Whether the idea one holds to is  Hyper-aggressive, macho and bullying; or ridiculously over-refined,  and so cultured and proper as to make a man androgenous, our ideas of masculinity run the gamut. But when all is said and done, they are our misguided attempts.

Fortunately, God still knows what He intended when he made Adam, and us after him. And we, as men, need to find that. He fathers us.

This is true of all men, and those struggling with pornography addiction feel this need acutely — perhaps even a little moreso than other men.

i recall a point in my own journey, a couple years after The Confession, at which i cried out for God to initiate me into masculinity.  It was one of the most important things i ever asked for from Him.

Success in breaking free from pornography necessitates knowing who we are in God’s image and then living according to that identity. Running to pornography is really an attempt to get the answer to the question of masculinity. But it never works. It always leaves us cold, empty, alone and ashamed.

Only God can bestow our masculinity upon us. A woman cannot do that; whether she be a real woman in the flesh, or a picture of a woman in a video or magazine. But once God does His deep work, you will know — without doubt — that you are indeed a man.

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