Pornography offers escape, which is very attractive when the kids are screaming, your wife seems annoyed with you and your job is less than satisfying. Pornography also offers escape from the pain of life; the shame or embarrassment we face at feeling like we don’t compare well to others. And there are a host of other pains involved.
The guy who got the promotion instead of you — or these days — the guy who didn’t get “downsized” when you did, makes you feel small. Life is brutal in such ways.
So instead of checking out with a little binge on porn, i stay active in the midst of whatever is happening now. Often, it entails stepping into the Chaos.
A friend was sharing with me his own realization — a recent self-discovery — that he doesn’t fully engage. And this runs from actual escapes into porn, as well as his tendency to simply surf the web, or turn on the TV when the chaos kicks in.
But part of the design of us as men involves engagment; our Father — whose image we bear — models that for us. He fully engaged and stepped into time.
When you are used to running away, especially into porn, there is hard work involved in learning to engage with life. But this is what we are made for as men.