fighting for free hearts

Back In The Day, A Week Like I Just Had Would Have Led To A Serious Porn Spree

Figure 20 from Charles Darwin's The Expression...

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Back when i was living in my pornography addiction, the type of week i just had would have resulted in a crazy spree of internet porn indulgence and endless masturbation.

The stresses:  Holiday madness; work pressure; overwhelming parental responsibility and fear. Or, i should say, the temptation to give way to fear.

i would have run to my comforter of porn; that “old friend” who always took off the edge of pain that comes from living in a broken world. Except, it only took the pain away for a short amount of time and then it was back with a vengeance.

And in addition to the pain that remained, i had the pain and guilt of my porn indulgence compounding the problem.

Fear, particularly of man, was rampant in my life then. In almost every interaction i had with co-workers or casual acqaintences, even strangers, i was gripped with fear. And the stresses of relational issues, or any increase in the demands or pressures of life always sent me over the edge.

This week carried an additional challenge:  i had to testify under oath in a legal proceeding.

But unlike the old days, i did not run back to my old ways. Instead, as the new man God is making me into, i walked through every situation and grew in strength. The change He has wrought goes beyond words; i am transformed — i am a man with a new heart.

i need no other gift this Christmas.

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