The Father Wound

A view of the Sage Gateshead along with the ty...

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One of the things we talk about often in our group the Society of WarriorPoets (SWP), is the need for healing from the wounds we have received from our fathers.  As we progress in the journey away from Pornography, Lust and Masturbation (PLM), we never stop needing the healing of our True Father.

Daily we need to take our place as His sons and renew the connection we have with the Heavenly Father. It’s not about blaming our earthly fathers at all. Rather, we are actively receiving what we can only get from our Perfect Father:  Thorough and deep validation and affirmation of our own masculinity.

Just the other day i was talking with a man who is not part of the SWP, but who is a good man seeking to walking closely with The Father.

It was astonishing to see his affect change, tears welling up in his eyes, as he told the story of the day he finally got the endorsement of his father.  The man i was talking to loves art, and wanted to be an artist, but his father was unsupportive.

Then came the day my friend had to interview with the art school of his choice in the hopes he would be admitted there.  His father went with him, it was exciting and odd all at the same time.

The interesting thing was the comment my friend made after he told me the story.  He said it was great to finally get validation of his desire and talent, but even still, there was something missing in it because for many years that validation was denied.

It reminded me of the crucial aspects of the masculine journey and recognizing that there are developmental stages which really matter.

John Eldredge uses six categories to understand the masculine journey:  The Beloved Son, The Cowboy, The Warrior, The Lover, The King and The Sage.

Fathers need to speak into the lives of their sons, particularly in the early stages.  When that doesn’t happen, a man lives with a void in his heart.

That void remains until God takes a man back to the crucial moment and heals what was missing, because in not hearing the affirmation a man becomes haunted.  The questions mount:  “Am i a man?” “Am i strong?” “Do i have anything to offer?”

And on and on and on.


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