There is a scene in the film Braveheart where one of the characters, Hamish, is throwing large rocks as training for battle because the English army which occupied Scotland would not allow the Scots to own actual weapons.
Those standing by applaud each time Hamish throws a rock, impressed with his strength. When William Wallace walks into the scene he praises Hamish for his strength but then asks: “Could do that when it really matters, as it matters in battle? Could you crush a man with that throw?”
What ensues is a rock-throwing challenge between the two men. Wallace wins.
The other night as i was gathering with some intentional warriors, i shared with them something God has been reinforcing in my life which bears a resemblance to that scene from Braveheart.
God has been reminding me that i have to be a warrior when it really matters.
For example, when faced with intense temptation to look at porn, or give in to the urge to lust or masturbate, that’s when i, as a warrior, must be intentional. Those are the moments when it really matters.
i can blog here and say great, or seemingly insightful, things about the masculine journey. i can say a lot of things about dealing with temptation and what it means to be an intentional warrior, but when the intensity of sexual temptation is pressing in on me i have to fight well right then — that’s when it truly matters.
i found myself in that situation just the other day. A combination of circumstsances, coupled with tiredness and stress left me vulnerable to some very strong lustful thoughts that i was having a difficult time shaking off.
At one point i debated just going on and masturbating to relieve the tension of the moment. Sure i would need to confess it later and bring it into the light with my wife and my fellow intentional warriors, but at least i would get some relief in the moment.
That’s when God reminded me so powerfully that those intense moments of temptation are the ones in which it really matters that i fight for purity and freedom. That’s when it counts.
Everything else is just talk.