As i mentioned in the last post, there are 4 crucial practices for freedom from pornography addiction.
The first and most basic practice is coming clean, bringing the truth of our behavior into the light so that it is no longer hidden.
And while this is the first step of a long journey, it is _ like all 4 practices _ something that must become a way of life.
Intentional Warriors need to live in a state of honesty and disclosure because, with our addictive patterns in the past, we are too accustomed to secrecy.
Through the years many men i have talked to about coming clean have balked at the idea for numerous reasons. Some argued that they didn’t need to tell their wives or fiances because, as women, they wouldn’t understand anyway. Moreoever, these men said, the addiction was just something to be worked on privately.
Others contended that there simply wasn’t a good time to open up, and doing so would crush their wives / finances so terribly that the men refused. i used to excuse my double life that very same way. i actually thought i was being noble back in those days because i was sparing my wife the pain.
i wasn’t noble at all. i was self-protective and unwilling to experience the pain that honesty would bring.
The night of my confession, where i admitted to my wife that i had a pornography addiction, was one of the most emotionally painful experiences of my life. But i wouldn’t be free today without going through with that brutal disclosure.
And we all want freedom, every single one of us.
Through the years staying free has required that i practice full disclosure of the things are tempting me, or times when i have masturbated to a trusted man _ or group of men. And, i have confessed to my wife those same things.
Practicing that level of honesty has kept me from returning to old patters of behavior, or reverting to destructive coping mechanisms over the course of this journey.
Coming clean and living clean are essential elements for experiencing freedom from pornography.