A ministry leader recently told me: “i am getting tired of dealing with everyone’s Daddy Issues.”
He was describing person after person — men and women — who are stuck in sin, or trapped in some unhealthy way of dealing with life — and it all stems back to wounds they received from their fathers which have never really been healed.
In this man’s ministry he sees people battling with profound insecurity, rage, controlling tendencies and avoidance. He sees relationships within the church marred; marriages hampered and career ambitions halted.
At a recent gathering of our Intentional Warriors group, the more the men shared their current issues on the journey out of pornography addiction, the more a common theme arose: they continue to work through receiving healing for wounds from their fathers. Some men are also helping their wives deal with the father issues they have as women.
We are living in a day of significant fatherlessness. This is a time in which we see the ramifications of men refusing to deal with their father wounds, and we see how our culture as a whole suffers from the absence of healed men.
As it relates to addiction to lust and pornography, the wounds of the father play a prominent role. As the men shared their experiences the other night, each one — albeit in different ways — described how their involvement with porn was tied to questions about their own masculinity. The journey toward healing and freedom from the addiction must always involve receiving direct healing from God regarding these wounds.
When i discussed this with the men, some were clearly not comfortable with taking the journey into this topic. But a man’s restoration and redemption regarding authentic masculinity in general, and freedom from pornography addiction in particular, requires dealing with those wounds.