That Awkward Moment When…

As someone who used to be addicted to pornography, lust and masturbation and now has experienced great freedom and deliverance in the years sinced it all came out in the open, i know a few things about awkward moments.

English: The title card from the television sh...

i used to be a person who avoided awkwardness at all costs, measuring every conversational response and situation so as not to ever embarrass myself. But that all went out the window when my wife and i had a momentous conversation many years ago and my duplicity was exposed.

There i was a Christian husband and father who had been leading a double life as a sex addict. That was the first of many awkward moments.

My wife and i were at a party and i got into a conversation with a couple _ a husband and wife _ and the subject turned to the fact that i am writing a book.  When the wife asked the obvious question: “What’s it about?” i went ahead and told them: pornography addiction.

The husband’s reaction was priceless, and quite frankly, it’s the response most men give when this topic is mentioned:  he recoiled and mumbled something totally incomprehensible.  He then made some comment like: “Whoa, that’s heavy. Who would buy a book like that?” The wife had that deer-in-headlights look about her.

Apparently, he would need a book like that because he couldn’t keep his eyes on just his wife the whole night.

But the moment was very awkward as i sat there with this couple who were made visibly uncomfortable by my comment that the book is about pornography addiction.

The beauty of awkward moments is that they are often very liberating. For example, in years past when i travelled alot, the first thing i would do when i got into my hotel room is call the front desk and tell them that i needed the television removed from my room.

Inevitably, a maintence man would knock on my door and offer to fix the TV set.  i then had to explain that i didn’t need it fixed, i needed it removed. It was always awkward. But it always kept me pure when i was travelling alone.

There are times when the pursuit of purity in a pornified culture means being a little awkward. But it’s worth it.




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