Things would be going well in my life, or so i thought, and then i would get slammed with temptation that seemed entirely too strong to resist and i would give in to the rage of my addiction.
It had total control of me.
And it seemed that just about any circumstance could trigger a flare up. If my life were happy and going well, i would “treat” myself and celebrate with some porn.
If i were stressed and anxious, i would run to porn for comfort and escape. If i were lonely, or had my feelings hurt, or was confused about something in my life, i would medicate with porn. If i had just had a good night of making love to my wife, it would trigger lots of sexual thoughts that would lead me toward porn. If i hadn’t had sex in a while i would run to porn.
Pretty much any life situation led me to porn. i was overrun by the addiction.
The addiction took hold slowly, but eventually it was complete. i learned much later that i was using porn as a drug. And it was pretty powerful at helping me through life — at first. By the time i realized what had happened, it had taken hold.
Porn takes over because within us is a deep desire, at the level of our hearts, for Eternity. In Ecclesiastes, the writer tells us that God has set Eternity in the hearts of men (Chapter 3, verse 11), and yet we cannot fathom all that God has done. Porn also gets a hold on us when we feel overwhelmed by life and it’s simply too much to deal with.
So we have a positive longing for Eternity and a painful need to deal with the demands of life, and porn offers itself as the answer to both things. The naked woman on the screen or page seems to be a piece of Eternity; after all, God has made women and sexuality beautiful. She also seems like the answer to the demands of life.
She is neither Eternity nor is she the answer to the demands of life. But we willingly buy that lie because it is powerful and pleasing for the moment.