Living In The Hurricane
We’ve been getting slammed by Hurricane Sandy around here, which leaves little time for blogging. However, now that the worst of it seems past, maybe things will settle down a little. We’ll will have to assess any damage in the light of day.
The parallels between experiencing a hurricane and dealing with pornography addiction or, more accurately, the storm that ensues when you are exposed and can no longer hide your addiction, are fairly strong. Back when The Confession happened in my life, and my wife and i had the many painful conversations about my secret life, it often used the metaphor of a hurricane to describe what my life felt like.
In an actual hurricane there is unrelenting intensity; overpowering winds and rain that simply lash every house or building or person who ventures out into the storm.
My life had an unrelenting intensity about it in the early months following my Confession. i awoke every morning to a feeling of panic: would i relapse? Would my wife leave me? Would my world crumble beneath me? And the power of accusation, fear, condemnation and doubt was like the wind and rain battering me.
Just like an actual hurricane makes you feel small in light of the awesome power of nature’s fury, going through the personal ‘hurricane’ of being exposed as a pornography addict who has been a fraud most of his life — dealing with my wife’s fury and the real consequences of sin — made me feel extremely small. In fact, for a while i felt petty and worthless.
A real hurricane does damage. You feel the real pain of destruction to property, and sometimes even the loss of life. A personal hurricane leaves a different sort of mark. It’s internal. It’s at the level of the heart.
And yet, in a personal hurricane — just as in an actual one — there is a new dawn. A hurricane of any type eventually passes.
When it does, there is a path to walk and work to be done. There is real life waiting for you.
Buy the ebook: Intentional Warriors: Fighting For Purity And Freedom In A Sexually Saturated Society on Kindle.
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