i have spoken with several men in the last couple weeks who are losing the battle for purity and freedom in their lives. And they are frustrated.
Some are even teetering in the brink of hopelessness. They feel they are heading backwards on the journey.
At the same time, i have spoken with other men who are seeing more and more victory and freedom.
In listening to them all i noticed a pattern. The ones doing poorly in the battle all still felt that they didn’t want to give up the “riches” of their sinful behavior. They want to enjoy the pleasure, however fleeting, of looking at porn, lusting after women and masturbating.
The men doing well had reached a point of certainty; a certainty that there are absolutely no “riches” in porn, lust or masturbation. They are convinced that that old behavior offers no value to them whatsoever.
There is a great moment in a man’s journey toward freedom from sexual addiction when he becomes completely sure that the “old friends” — pornography, lust and masturbation — are dead. When they absolutely no longer deliver on their promises and it is clear. One man told me about how, after a long spell of avoiding porn and masturbation, he went back to it. It was utterly dissatisfying.
That’s a beautiful moment. And every man in this journey and battle must reach that point. When the “riches” of pornography, lust and masturbation are exposed as fools gold; some sort of strange alchemy in which we try to make lead of sexual acting out appear like gold.
Real gold is easily authenticated, it is highly valued and it has a legitimate beauty. And yet there is something worth even more than gold.
With me are riches and honor,
enduring wealth and prosperity.
My fruit is better than fine gold;
what I yield surpasses choice silver.
I walk in the way of righteousness,
along the paths of justice,
bestowing wealth on those who love me
and making their treasuries full.
The fruit of wisdom is knowing when something is killing you and rejecting it in favor of life. Porn kills, every time.