Hooking Up: Chastity By Another Name

i just read this article, linked to by the Covenant Eyes blog Breaking Free, in which a Christian woman talks about the hook-up culture — among Christians.


The thing from the article that hit me hardest was this section:

Another Christian friend of mine, Jane, recently flashed me her chastity ring, but told me she’s willing to do “other bedroom activities” that don’t involve going “all the way.” To her, there’s nothing wrong with testing the waters with a serious boyfriend before they get married. In fact, it’s the prudent thing to do––after all, how else would she know if he can sexually satisfy her after marriage?

This is the terrible disconnect affecting our current age among Christians, whether it’s sexual or not. Our understanding of Biblical teaching is shallow. Sexual activity outside marriage in no way prepares you for sexual activity in marriage, as Tim Keller says, because within marriage sex is a covenant-building activity, but outside of marriage it is consumeristic — it’s the test drive, so to speak.

You can hear it in the woman’s comment when she says she wants to test the waters to make sure her boyfriend can please her sexually before deciding on marrying him. That is a classic consumeristic statement.  What she is really saying is that he has to perform or she is going to look for a better deal.

This woman had a ready justification for her version of chastity, which is not chastity at all. She’s even baptized it as “prudent.”

Believers who are overtly shaped by a hypersexualized culture will hold to these sorts of justifications, missing God’s heart entirely.

The article goes on to say excellent things about Biblical sexuality. And that wisdom is desperately needed. The consumeristic attitude toward sex which drives the hook-up culture drives porn addiction and sex trafficking.

Most people who are hooking up would never see themselves as living on the same continuum as sex slavery, but once you adopt the attitude that sex is simply something you shop for, it’s only a matter of degrees.

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