fighting for free hearts

Boston

One of the realities emerging from the week in Boston and the aftermath of the Boston Marathon bombings is that age-old issue of a secret life.

Family members of the Tsaranaev brothers are quoted as saying it is “impossible” that the duo is responsible for the bombing.  Meanwhile, other family members have referred to them as “losers,” which would seem to indicate that those family members — while shocked — might consider it a possibility that the brothers actually are guilty.

Regardless, it is thoughts such as the following that make for interesting analysis.

Zubeidat Tsarnaeva says it is “impossible, impossible” for her sons to have committed such a crime. Speaking from the Russian region of Dagestan, she expressed support for her children and said she believes they have been the victims of a setup. “You tell me, my son never would keep it in secret,” she said. “… If there is anyone who would be knowing it would be me. (Tamerlan) never would hide it from me.”

Secrets. They can be brutal. And in this case, deadly.

It is at once fascinating and frightening the way in which we can have whole parts of our lives that loved ones, those who would consider themselves extremely close to us, know absolutely nothing about.

This is, of course, the case with addiction.  For those of us who are practiced in hiding and posing, a double life can go on for a long, long time.

But the pain of exposure is very deep.  That’s how it was when my addiction came to light. It left my wife wondering just who i was.   The devastation to her heart and soul as she learned the truth of my secret life nearly destroyed the two of us and our family.  My secret life was almost too much for my wife to comprehend. She was truly overwhelmed

In a case such as the Boston Marathon bombings, we see another example of a secret life is unfathomable to the loved ones of the persons with the secret.

It leaves us all with a rather haunting question:  “Just how well do we know the people in our lives?”

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