Our Intentional Warriors group just started reading and discussing Surfing for God by Michael John Cusick. A really good book.
There is a part of the book where Michael talks about his first visit to a counselor when it became obvious he had a sexual addiction. The counselor undid Michael when he said that Michael seemed like a very lonely man. In fact, Michael writes that he was “profoundly lonely.”
It’s something most men feel and yet don’t even understand about themselves. Those who know that they are lonely, hide it and attempt to fill the void that loneliness creates in their souls.
It was a breakthrough moment in our group the other night when we were brutally honest about our loneliness. Being lonely, feeling disconnected and without truly meaningful connections with our wives and our friends makes us very susceptible to the temptation of pornography and sexual sin.
The truth is: men are lonely. They are much more lonely than they ever admit to another person. Some men aren’t even aware of their own loneliness.
As we went around the room sharing, each man had the same predicament: they were lonely and _ in many cases _ they were resigned to loneliness as simply the way things would always be.
And porn offers a break from that loneliness, despite the fact it is a false hope. Porn will never cure our loneliness, but it has just enough of the trappings to fool us. In porn, the people we watch seem to like us and accept us. They even seem want us sexually, which is amazingly powerful.
And yet it is all a lie, making us even more lonelier than before.
One Response to “So Lonely”
Common bond among addicts, regardless of the addiction. My addiction is alcohol. Reach out to God. Go to him broken and he will put you back together.