Pirate Monks, Intentional Warriors &The Waste Of Porn
It was a great pleasure to be interviewed yesterday on the Pirate Monk Radio broadcast with Nate Larkin.
Nate wrote a book called Samson and the Pirate Monks, and he founded the Samson Society which calls men to authentic brotherhood. Nate’s story includes the pain of his addiction, along with the hope and redemption of a life transformed.
He had me on his weekly radio show July 31 to talk about Intentional Warriors.
One of the other things the guys talked about on the show was the topic of waste. Each meeting of the Samson Society has a topic for discussion, and yesterday as i listened in on Nate, Mondo, Aaron and Jay talk about waste i was reminded yet again of how wasteful pornography is. And when it comes to an addiction to pornography, waste is even more pronounced.
i can look back at more than a decade of my life and see how wasteful i was with my time, money and energy as i sought porn. My need for porn led me to spend large amounts of money that could have been spent much more wisely for myself and others. i devoted time and energy to obtaining porn and covering it up so nobody would discover my addiction; to the point that i was exhausted much of the time.
How wasteful.
But that’s just the waste that’s easy to calculate. There are other types of waste associated with porn addiction that are more subtle. Wasted relationships; wasted opportunities to grow as a person; and wasted beauty are other — less obvious — forms of waste.
During the years of my addiction i chose porn over real relationships and interactions, preferring the illusory world to the real one. That took a toll on actual relationships. My choices had consequences with regard to the time — and the quality of the time — i spent with my wife. But she wasn’t the only one affected. Everybody who related to me in those days was affected by my addiction, they just didn’t know it at the time.
The more i indulged porn the more i was stunting my own growth as a person, yet that was not at all apparent to me then. Escaping into a fantasy world over and over eroded my soul. It also kept me stuck in a life that would never result in personal achievement or development. And when it comes to beauty, my lifestyle of porn warped me as to the true nature of beauty such that when i was in the presence of it — either in nature, in art or in the form a person — i couldn’t see it.
Porn is so wasteful. It is self-ruination.
Intentional Warriors 
One Response to “Pirate Monks, Intentional Warriors &The Waste Of Porn”
Yep, been there, lost that. Ad to the list the waste of 7 years study and 9 building a career I destroyed, but worst of all the destruction of my relationship with my wife. I still love her, but she may never trust me again. 9 years into my recovery, I am losing hope hat she will. And sex is not fun or all that much pleasure for me. All results of the long term damage of sex addiction. What a waste.