fighting for free hearts

Porn Vulnerability: An Explanation

There are many issues at play when it comes to porn addiction, and one blog post is not going to cover all of them.

Most of us spend years working through our sin, our wounds and our triggers. The journey toward healing and wholeness takes some time because it is, well, a journey.

And yet there are times when a brief description of the situation is stated well enough that it provides some clarity. Such it is with the email that came to my inbox yesterday. The following is the daily reading from Ransomed Heart:

I hope you’re getting the picture by now. If a man does not find those things for which his heart is made, if he is never even invited to live for them from his deep heart, he will look for them in some other way. Why is pornography the number one snare for men? He longs for the beauty, but without his fierce and passionate heart he cannot find her or win her or keep her. Though he is powerfully drawn to the woman, he does not know how to fight for her or even that he is to fight for her. Rather, he finds her mostly a mystery that he knows he cannot solve and so at a soul level he keeps his distance. And privately, secretly, he turns to the imitation. What makes pornography so addictive is that more than anything else in a lost man’s life, it makes him feel like a man without ever requiring a thing of him. The less a guy feels like a real man in the presence of a real woman, the more vulnerable he is to porn.

And so a man’s heart, driven into the darker regions of the soul, denied the very things he most deeply desires, comes out in darker places. Now, a man’s struggles, his wounds and addictions, are a bit more involved than that, but those are the core reasons. As the poet George Herbert warned, “He begins to die, that quits his desires.” And you know what? We all know it. Every man knows that something’s happened, something’s gone wrong . . . we just don’t know what it is.

i think this excerpt from Wild At Heart is so spot on that it needs little comment from me.

What Eldredge says here rings true to the core of my soul — and it rings equally true in the hearts of all the men i have ever worked with on these issues.

2 Responses to “Porn Vulnerability: An Explanation”

  1. simontheleper

    I love that quote. Seems very Jungian as it draws on the nature of the self vs the shadow. Although it doesn’t bite me as strongly it is still telling a large part of the story.

    Reply
    • james tarring cordrey

      i am not familiar with Jungian psychology, so i am at a loss to comment directly on that point. but i would have to say that if we grab hold of what that quote is driving at we will make serious strides in freedom. thanks for reading and commenting.

      Reply

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