The Domino Effect And Porn
There is a progression of events that often gets the dominoes falling in my life and makes me susceptible to lust and porn.
It all starts will feeling overwhelmed.
In a moment of odd surprise the other day i was talking with my wife and before i knew what i was saying i was telling her about how overwhelmed i was. Changes at work. Parenting challenges. Frustrations with money. The list went on and on.
As i was talking something from deep inside me started bubbling over and i wasn’t even thinking about what i was saying. Then i heard myself say “i am so overwhelmed.”
Finally, i had a name for the mysterious tension that was eating away at me. Finally, i had some rare clarity into the true state of the deeper regions of my soul.
As i prayed about it and asked God to draw near to me in my overwhelmed state i began to feel lighter; i began to feel a sense of His peace coming over me.
Through tears i called out for His rescue of me, and He came.
And then He started talking to me about my life, explaining to me the way that being overwhelmed was playing into my recent experience. The pull toward lust and pornographic thinking had been stronger in recent weeks, and He connected the dots for me. i had been confused as to the reason it had been abnormally strong. Then He showed me it was my response to feeling overwhelmed and seeking some sort of relief and escape from it.
As the Intentional Warriors met recently, we were discussing the problem of being overwhelmed. We were all under it.
We all recognized that when we are overwhelmed, we begin to run towards any form of cheap, quick comfort available. We are exhausted and lack energy to resist temptation. We forget the reasons why lust and porn are bad for us. We forget that Life can never be found there.
And so the progression, which begins with feeling overwhelmed, leads us to lust and porn.
But into this progression, God speaks.
Therefore, preparing your minds for action,[a] and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
1 Peter 1:13 [ESV]
Ultimately, i realize that in those times when i am overwhelmed, the key question i need to ask myself is: “What am i hoping in?” Too many times, it’s my circumstances. Too many times, i am counting on a certain outcome of an event to be the thing that provides me with a sense of security, or a sense that my life is good.
God says through Peter that we are to place our hope fully on the grace brought to us at the revelation of Jesus. Much of the time i am partial. i see it in my life and i hate it, but it’s there. Peter is not allowing for partiality in this situation. Unless our hope is fully set on this, we will be divided, and that never goes well for any of us.
Jesus has been revealed, initially, in His first coming. He will be fully revealed again either when He returns, or when i pass on from this life. But in the time between those two things, Jesus is progressively being revealed — or the potential for Him being revealed exists, at least. By turning to Him in my overwhelmed state; by learning His ways and following Him as a disciple, He reveals Himself again and again.
That’s what i need when the progression from being overwhelmed to lusting is unfolding. As the dominoes start to fall toward what seems an inevitability, i need Jesus to reveal Himself and step in to stop it.
My hope is well placed when it is in Jesus. Nothing else will do. i am still learning. Fortunately, He is patient and gracious with me.
Intentional Warriors 
One Response to “The Domino Effect And Porn”
Overwhelm is probably my primary trigger, and a very subtle one that can sneak up on me. I find during these times that I am relying on myself to come through without considering God during these times. Phil. 4:6-7 and Matt. 6:33 are particularly helpful for me. I think Phil. 4:6-7 describes you turning to God and receiving his peace.