One of the great benefits of my healing has been that i now can celebrate real beauty because the eyes of my heart have been opened. Before my Confession and my addiction coming into the light, my ability to see and appreciate true beauty was, at best, veiled because of the way pornography had infected me. i was twisted. My eyes were darkened. My heart was hard and cold.
This time of year is always powerful for me because October is the month in which the Confession was made. And, it is a month with rare beauty here where i live. Today, like so many days since my Confession, i was blessed to see and appreciate true beauty; the sort of beauty which i missed so much of the time when i was in my addiction.
The brilliance of autumn colors, as leaves _ fire-like orange and glowing yellow _ blanketed the ground drew me in and literally lifted my heart. Last night’s moon, crescent shaped and seemingly close enough to touch. The brisk morning air that reminds you you are alive. All of these things share a beauty to be savored. i had been so dead to it all for many years.
But when the mercy of God collided with my addiction, resulting in the redemptive train wreck of being “outed”, one of the benefits _ beneath the pain _ was a new heart and new eyes with which to really see the goodness God had given me.
Ever since that fateful October night years ago, it has been a powerful experience for me to actually apprehend and celebrate beauty. Porn was a plague of locusts on my soul. God has since restored what was ravaged more than a 100 fold.
Let the celebration begin.