The early days following my confession were days of Shock and Awe. i was upside down and my wife was extremely angry and hurt. One of the many questions she had was: “Had our whole marriage been a lie?”
And she did not spare me her wrath. i had to deal with her pain coming back on me. i had deceived her. For the first time i got it.
In the groups i have led over the years for men dealing with pornography addiction we actually have talked about the blessing in disguise that is our wife’s anger. In the current group i work with one man actually expressed gratitude that his wife was livid. That’s a sign that a man really understands what is going on and is broken in an appropriate way. Such a man will deal with his addiction and pursue change at any cost.
Without desperation, a man will not grow. Without seeing the devastation his indulgence has caused, he will take a nonchalant attitude toward his sin.
Only when i was stripped of every excuse was i able to see myself for what i was. Then i was terrified of what i saw.
The path to healing my heart started with Shock and Awe. i would never have taken my situation seriously without it.