Sex And The Single Guy

i was on the phone with a single man just a couple days ago and he pointed out the difficulty of dealing with his temptation to porn and acting out sexually given the fact that, unlike a married man who has a wife to help him deal with those sexual urges, he has nobody.

The timing of the phone conversation couldn’t be more interesting:  a recent post on Breaking Free, the blog of Covenant Eyes, deals with this very issue. Breaking Free offers some good resources for helping single men think about how they should handle the temptations toward pornography, lust and masturbation.

Check it out here.

In addition to Breaking Free’s good counsel i would say a couple of things. First, although it would seem that married men have an easier time with the temptation to look at porn because they have a wife with whom they can be sexual, the reality is that for the married men who are really struggling with porn, the fact that they have wives doesn’t change anything.  They are still acting out sexually apart from their wives.

Married men who are into porn are not pursuing their wives for sex, they are taking all of their desire to porn.

So while it would seem that married men would be less tempted by porn, they really aren’t. Unless, of course, we are talking about the small percentage of married men who just are not that attracted to porn in the first place.

Second, because porn is being consumed by most men alone — or certainly not in partnership with their wives — even married men become single men with regard to porn.  The lie many single men believe is that once they are married their temptation to look at porn and masturbate will go away because they will have a wife.  That may be the case for a very small percentage of men, but the reality is that lie gets exposed very quickly after the wedding day.


3 Responses to “Sex And The Single Guy”

  1. Castimonia

    It sounds like the single guy was basically saying married men have a sexual “outlet” (no pun intended) and have have the “relief” of sex with their wives whereas single guys do not unless they masturbate.

    The key for either married or single is to learn how to suppress those sexual urges and not act out sexually with compulsive sexual behaviors, especially not by watching pornography and masturbating. When my wife and I were being abstinent, I had to get to a point where I wasn’t wanting sex (through her or masturbation) every day, then every few days, then every week, few weeks, months, etc…

    It took a lot of surrendering to God for me to get through the early days withdrawal symptoms.


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