Through the years, the blog post that has been read the most, by far, is the post i wrote about the interview that musician John Mayer did with Playboy Magazine.
As we start another year, it will be interesting to see if it remains the most popular. He makes startling admissions, and they are worth noting.
So, for old time’s sake, here’s the post about Mayer’s interview.
Unlike the firestorm he encountered following his racially charged remarks, the portion of the interview posted on XXXChurch is much more enlightening as it relates to what makes Mayer tick.
All this time i have had more in common with Mayer than i realized. He is addicted to sex and pornography; i used to be.
He freely admits to addictive behavior, although the word “addict” is not used.
But in Mayer’s words we have a true description. He says “internet pornography has absolutely changed my generation’s expectations.” More than that, he goes on to describe what amounts to the endless search all addicts experience; chasing after just one more picture or experience, yet finding emptiness instead of fulfillment.
Mayer then reveals that he would rather fantasize than have an actual relationship with a real woman. That’s the point every addict reaches: Real people are a bother, the fantasy world is much more appealing.
He asks the question we all must ask: “How does that [porn] not affect the psychology of having a relationship with somebody? It’s got to.”
Exactly. It’s got to. And it most certainly does.
Mayer also admits to what every addict knows: It’s all about soothing yourself. Porn is a way to medicate your pain, but it never does anything to bring actual healing from the pain that drives you to it. So you are stuck in a cycle of medicating and being unfulfilled, thus needing to run back to porn over and over; rather than experiencing real healing with regard to the truly painful aspects of life.
Mayer describes porn as a trap, and it is just that.
The hunger that gets fed by porn is really for something else altogether. It’s not about sex, it’s about a search for life.